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Explaining English Gobbledygook to In Indonesian

Robin Usher, British Education Council (BEC), National Diploma (ND) in Business Studies, Hull College of Further Education, 1978, West Clayton High School, Graduation Diploma (GPA 2.66), Arlington, Texas, 1982, B.A. (Hons), Combined Studies (2: 1 English literature and Socio-History), Hull College of Higher Education, 1986, wrote `Jungian Archetypes: Robert A. Heinlein`, PhD by thesis (English), Hull University, England, 1992; Trinity College, London, TESOL Certificate, 1995. Has taught English language in more than 14 countries, and written many ELT articles, including for HLTmag, as well as science fiction and reviews.

 

Being asked recently to do some ‘black work’ online, that is, for cash, to maintain body and soul, for 100 GBP a month, by a ‘colleague’, asking if the flat couldn’t be left in a will? It wasn’t only illuminating to look at alternatives to salaried economics. The issue is time consumption. Justifying salary paid, on the basis of time consumed, and the time consumed by students, in completing the tasks set for them to do, is the usual basis of a value for money (VFM) salary economic for teachers. However, quantity, rather than quality, is generally determined as insufficiency, as it isn’t of a personal dimension, so immeasurably inadequate from the perspective of both employers and students, who’re then in the position of enslavers.

In managerial terms, managers manage. Whereas those who’re concerned with personal approaches towards students expect to be vindicated when the teacher is too impersonal, that’s generally a sign of professionalism in English language teaching, rather than toadying, which is demonstrating being a slave to a slaver to safeguard slavery. The trend in ‘live’ on demand public appearances, with ‘selfie’ photographs of applicants, self-taken with a camera lens, mounted on a personal ‘phone that requires someone else to ‘take charge’ of their ‘personal space’, or more elaborately set up  ‘phone links to websites, like WhatsApp, etc., using a QR code scanner, so the ‘phone wielder can check their hair on the ‘phone, while standing in front of the laptop camera, before setting the ‘phone down, and taking a photo using an automatic time-delay mechanism, is a rather queer adjunct to basic serfdom.

Skype, and Zoom, along with WhatsApp interviews, etc., are aimed at furthering presenters, rather than teachers, and presentation rather than content, which might be okay, if all employment was that of a receptionist, but it isn’t. During the severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) epidemic, people were subjected to ‘phone terror, with lives dependent on the whim of sim card operators, for example, Vodafone, and T-Mobile, etc., whose websites mightn’t be ‘up’ for a debit card transaction, so a ‘take charge’ by someone else in a QR, ‘queer code’ arrangement, was made perforce acceptable to the fiercely independent; or else a top up by ATM in the mid-winter could signal lung failure, if a phone stand hadn’t been purchased by the pensioner, who also needed a degree in computer science to set the time delay mechanism on their ‘smartphone’ camera, before rushing in front of the lens to get a mugshot to accord with the demands of the healthcare provider wanting a verified ID to make out a prescription for insulin, for example. That a presenter is perceived as the best teacher, because they’re a user, not only unhealthily equates the applicant for the insulin with the fascist perspective that the fittest survive, but suggests that the professional teacher is unfit, as they aren’t an adequate tab user.

Although the objective of those advocating personal input is meant to demonstrate sociability and societal care and cohesion, in fact it’s based on vindication, that is, slavers are vindicated by those who feel cared for, whereas old age pensioners didn’t feel vindication in their need to have a ‘phone and a laptop to take a ‘selfie’, as they wanted an appointment at the local health center, and neither do the teachers feel vindicated by the QR (queer) code. Requiring people to take mugshots of themselves is rather vindictive of muggers, who want to mug their victims, rather than an indication of righteous action. Identifying ‘people at risk’, through requiring them to show IDs, is a sign of justified thieving, and teachers overseas aren’t aware that they’re similarly unprotected.

Giving up on getting PayPal to comply with their client’s need to withdraw money for the ‘phone, after successfully completing the request for ticking the number of motorcycles in the Captcha ‘game’, to see who can access their own account, after the password has been given, which PayPal have required to be changed at least a hundred times to ‘safeguard identity’, that puts a more than usual strain on failing memory, and they’re now going to send a verification code by SMS to the ‘phone that needs to be topped up, so that the client can input that too, as long as they’ve fulfilled the requirement of buying a ‘phone to go with their personal computer (laptop, tablet, etc.), but there’s then a request from the ‘bank’ to tick the number of sailing boats in the Captcha, and the ‘phone can’t receive the SMS because it hasn’t any credit, is what the vindictive do with people, who won’t die, and give up their homes and possessions to the ‘dealer’.

Indonesian students, at a university, were asked to upload work to be reviewed, and graded on Padlet; a cloud-based software-as-a-service company, hosted from the company’s headquarters in the city of San-Francisco, state of California, United States of America, and from the city-state island of Singapore, maritime Southeast Asia. A real-time collaborative web platform, Padlet users upload, organize, and share content through virtual bulletin boards, called ‘padlets’. Given a rubric to understand, along with the teachers, who were asked to assess, and mark the tasks uploaded by the students, according to the requirements, it consumed a lot of time, especially as the rubric might as well have been in Chinese for the native English speakers, and some of them were.

Masquerading as education, it was in fact time-wasting to slave. The Indonesian students paid for their time to be wasted, and the university paid the teachers to waste their time. As the students paid, the objective was to waste as much time as possible for as long as possible, while making it appear as if education was being given to satisfy parents, for example; who may’ve simply been rich enough to force their children to work there, rather than educate a rival future generation, who mightn’t want to be slaved, and perhaps mightn’t even have wanted to be slavers. That the teachers were ridden like animals by line managers with whips is merely an aspect of slavery’s vindictiveness, while the ostensibly worked for qualification is the vindication of the slaver exercising their personal animosity against the intelligent, who’d prefer to be able to communicate what’s within their understanding, as they aren’t, generally speaking, cryptography literate.

There were four task components, according to the rubric given to the students, as below, who if they could puzzle would be able to glean what was required in order to pass, which may’ve been of some moment to them, but the impenetrable disguise adopted by the course setters made it easier to simply do as much as possible and hope for a hit, for example, all Tasks marked with an asterisk * had to be completed to get a pass mark, 10 or above. While the above 10 category doesn’t seem immediately relevant, there are also 13 compulsory Tasks, with the stipulation that at least 9 out of 12, because it was confusingly amended to 12, rather than the 13 according to the rubric printed as a hand out, as well as all * Tasks, must be completed for a pass mark, that is, 10, and there are 6 additional Tasks, of which 3 must be completed, as well as all * Tasks, and all now 12 compulsory tasks, for a pass mark between 13 and 20, which is the highest mark attainable. Apart from that, there are an apparently unlimited number of self-study Tasks, which when completed, together with all of the * Tasks and all of the 12 compulsory Tasks, and at least 4 of the additional Tasks, if the week 12 summary of a paragraph on Technical Fascism, with uploaded paragraph and notes, are completed, a score of 17 or above is attainable:

  • Tasks [4]
  • All * Tasks Must be completed for your padlet to be awarded a Pass mark (10 or above)
  • Compulsory Tasks (13)
  • A minimum of 9/12 (as well as all * Tasks) MUST be completed for a Pass mark (10 or above)
  • Additional Tasks [6]
  • At least three pf the Additional Tasks (as well as all * Tasks and all Compulsory Tasks) MUST be completed for a score of 13/20 or above
  • Self-Study [?]
  • Some  extra Self-Study Tasks (as well as all * Tasks, all Compulsory Tasks, and at least 4 of the Additional Tasks, INCLUDING the week 12 summary of a paragraph on ‘Technical Fascism’, with uploaded original paragraph, and your notes, must be completed for a score of 17 or above

That the marks are out of 20 is what they were trying to avoid communicating to the students and teachers. The instructions are so convoluted that it requires cryptography to glean that a student can pass with all * Tasks completed, and at least 5 Compulsory Tasks, which as a minimum was doubtless craved by Indonesian students of English, who perhaps weren’t in a position, language wise, to be able to comprehend it, despite iteration, which ought to have clarified, but merely added to the obfuscation:

  • 10-12: PASS
  • For a score of 10 and over, you must complete; all * Tasks, most Compulsory Tasks (5 tasks)
  • 13-16: STRONG PASS
  • For a score of 13 and over, you must complete all * Tasks, all Compulsory Tasks, some Additional Tasks (2 tasks)
  • 17-20: EXCEPTIONAL
  • For a score of 17 and over, you must complete all * Tasks, all Compulsory Tasks, most Additional Tasks (4 tasks), some Self-Study Tasks

For pedophile slavers, working on the margins, calculating for syndicates, waging betting wars to show that they’ve backed winners, or whoever’ll be placed, after the placement tests are won, students and teachers are expected to display concern in personal interactions; just short of genuine affection: for the sake of the cosmetic appearance of Fagin’s pickpockets, ‘Please, sir, I want some more.’ (2) Despite the plaint of Oliver ‘Everyman’ Twist, as expressed in Charles Dickens’ novel of the 19th century poor, Oliver Twist (1838), the socioeconomic views of learner and learned, with regard to the desirability of education to obviate the criminal boys and girls gangs, represented by elderly London fence, Fagin, depend on the discouraging of those offering Quality Street sweets (1), while gangsters satisfy their desire for suites at hotels, and slave traffic’s all one way.

The establishment’s modern education system, obviously delaying punishment for Everyman Oliver, is the dark cages of 21st century computerism, where work-at-home slavery in poorly lit cubicles, with flickering screens, are reminiscent of Fanny By Gaslight (1940), a novel by Michael Sadleir of the prostitutes of the Victorian age. (3) As an ultra-modern generation of poverty stricken work the screens beneath the batteries of the enemy lowering at their abused eyes, Sadleir’s understanding is salutary, ‘Why would I desire beautiful discourse when I perceive the soul of another within my own?’ (4) Being worked to death, as a slave, is rather demonic than inspired; demons, who without explaining that telecommunications aren’t for understanding their QR codes, would prefer that the teacher just chalk.

 

Notes

a) Their efforts adjudicated and marked, as best understood by the slave:

  • Students completing all mandatory * Tasks and at least 5 + Compulsory Tasks, but below 9, received 10.
  • Students completing all mandatory * Tasks and at least 9 + Compulsory Tasks, received 11.
  • Students completing all mandatory * Tasks and all Compulsory Tasks received 12.
  • Students completing all mandatory * Tasks, all Compulsory Tasks, and at least 2 Additional Tasks, qualified for a mark of 13 +, so received a mark from 13 to 16.
  • Students completing all mandatory * Tasks, all Compulsory Tasks, and up to 5 Additional Tasks, but not Week 12’s, qualified to received a mark of 13 +, but below 17.
  • Students completing all mandatory * Tasks, all Compulsory Tasks, and at least 4 Additional Tasks, including Week 12’s, qualified for a mark of 17 +, so received a mark between 17 and 20.

 

b) A Whatsapp conversation between the ‘colleagues’; sampled to indicate that some black humor yet remained in their master and servant relationship:

  • Slave, September 24th, ‘I have a Padlet account. Since 2014.’
  • Colleague, September 24th, stardate 2022, ‘I don’t think you need a Padlet [pad to let] account do you in order to make comments on their work?’
  • Colleague, November 3rd, ‘I’d like to retire early.’
  • Colleague, November 30th, ‘Are you still in the land of the living?’
  • Slave, November 30th, ‘I have an electric blanket.’
  • Colleague, November 30th, ‘I suppose it’s better than an electric chair …’
  • Slave, November 30th, [no comment]
  • Colleague, December 1st, ‘Repent while there’s still time.’
  • Rev. Dr, Slave S. Slave, B.A. (Hons.), Ph.D., D.Div, December 1st, [no comment]
  • Colleague, December 3rd, ‘How much would a flat [pad + toalett/toilet] cost me in Budapest?’
  • Slave, December 3rd, ‘I already have someone waiting for me to die so they can inherit.’
  • Colleague, December 4th, ‘Terminal?’
  • Slave, December 4th, [no comment]
  • Colleague, December 4th, ‘How long do you think you’ve got left?’
  • Colleague, December 4th, ‘I’ve had a few crematorium plans sent to me.’
  • Colleague, December 4th, ‘I can send you the link if you’d like?’
  • Colleague, December 4th, ‘I’m looking for a warm, cheap, and safe place to emigrate. Any suggestions let me know. Thanks.’
  • Colleague, December 4th, ‘... I suppose a funeral is cheaper in Hungary [toalett = toilet in Hungarian]?’
  • Slave, December 4th, [no comment]
  • Colleague, December 6th, ‘I’m picking up a few tips from The Idler [1993-] magazine concerning how to live frugally.’
  • Colleague, December 6th, ‘Go down fighting.’
  • Slave, December 6th, [no comment]
  • Colleague, January 14th, stardate 2023, ‘… leave instructions leaving me your studio it would be very much appreciated.’
  • Slave, January 14th, [no comment]
  • Slave quoting remark made January 14th by colleague, on January 28th, ‘”… leave instructions leaving me your studio [flat] it would be very much appreciated.”’
  • Slave comment, January 28th, ‘Killing observation.’
  • Colleague, January 30th, ‘I’m still waiting for proof of earnings too.’
  • Slave, January 30th, [no commen?]
  • Slave quoting colleague, January 30th, ‘How much would a flat [film and movie production studio] cost me in Budapest?’
  • Slave comment, January 30th, ‘Are you trying to kill me..?’
  • Slave quoting remark made December 4th by colleague, on January 30th, ‘”How long do you think you’ve got left?”’
  • Slave comment, January 30th, ‘Forever [not a bad toilet].’

 

Bibliography

1 Quality Street, named for J. M. Barrie's comedy drama, premiering at Knickerbocker Theatre, New York city, 1396 Broadway, November 11th, 1901, about a character, Valentine, the suitor of a woman not her sweet appearance, is manufactured by Swiss company, Nestlé (1988-), headquartered in Vevey, Vaud, Switzerland, as a line of tinned and boxed toffees, chocolates and sweets; first manufactured by Mackintosh's confectionery in Halifax, West Yorkshire, England, from 1936.

2 Dickens, Charles, Oliver Twist, or The Parish Boy’s Progress, Ch. 2, ‘Treats of Oliver Twist’s growth, education, and board’, Richard Bentley, 1838.

3 Empress of the British Empire, Victoria became England’s queen, aged 18, in 1837 until her demise in 1901, which 63 year span is known as the Victorian Age.

4 Sadleir, Michael Fanny By Gaslight,Croyez-vous que j'ai soif d'une parole sublime lorsque je sens qu'une âme me regarde dans l'âme?’, Constable & Co., 1940, p. 341.

 

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Tagged  Voices 
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